So Much For That

My big winning streak is already over, LOL.

I played my HUSTs tonight and found some pretty bad players. They all kicked my ass (so what does that say about me, I wonder?). I gave back everything I got yesterday, with mafia-like interest. Poker is a really mean game sometimes. The session started a little sour, but turned back to be fairly decent in the middle, nothing serious at the time. Then the bottom just fell out.

There are times, like these sessions here, where you really start to question your faith in the math of the game. You tell yourself that over time you really will win the hands the proper percentage of the time. Of all the hands that you are a 70% favorite in, you'll win 70% of the time. There are no other variables involved once the chips are in, just the cards. I can't alter the outcome by any other way.

Yet when days like this happens and you sit a stew a little afterwards your resolve gets tested. Thoughts like "Maybe I'm just not lucky enough" or "Perhaps in a different life I was a really bad person and I'm paying for it now" or "I wonder if I should have done 'X' today so I'd have karma on my side". If you wanna play along, make up some more on your own... its fun.

So what does one do when things aren't going your way? Well, good thing for me I have these little bouts or run-bad all the fucking time so I'm use to it. First thing I do is exactly what I just did above... I let myself whine, moan, and complain a little bit. I get it out. Why hold it in and let it fester into something worse?

The next thing I do is go back and think about the hamds. In this case its really easy since I know what hands I can push and what I should fold. Pretty easy to tell myself that I'm getting in when I should. When I see that I'm holding to my process, I really can't be mad. Now if I did a few stupid things then I'd have reason to be upset.

Look, I make mistakes, but I haven't made a ton of mistakes within a short period of time in a long time. Even some of the tiny mistakes I've made in the past have been very good things. Some of them end up in three-day-long email exchanges with Jen over some interesting concepts... and it makes me that much better in the long run.

One I realize that I've played my A-game, well... what else can you do? Well, you write a blog about it, might help. You also remember that you've crawled out of the dark places before and you will again as long as you keep bringing your best. I don't quit, I never give up, and I'm not going to start playing reckless, scared, or poorly just because I might get "unlucky" again. I might not know as much as I could but I do know that what I know works... and I'll keep my faith in that.

MFDR. A few of you know what this is, others may not. I stole the phrase from Jen and use it as my rally cry during both the good and the bad. While it came up in a poker context, it really does apply in life as well. What does it mean, you ask?

Make Decisions, Fuck Results.

If you make your best decisions with the information you have at hand, then you've done your job. The End. That's it. Once you made your decision, whatever happens is done. As long as your choice was the best choice you could make, you win. Face it, sometimes we have to chose from bad or worse, but we still have a choice.

Meh, enough of all that. Guess I'll go read my book and try to improve my knowledge some more. Tomorrow night I'll be back to playing as there is a mini-UBOC bounty MTT running and I plan on being in it. I'll probably throw myself into the 45 and 180-man games on Stars as well. If I'm going to start winning again it might as well start tomorrow.